Anniversary... of sorts

The 12th of every month comes and goes.  To most people, that particular date means nothing to them.  To me, it is the anniversary of the date that Rusty had his stroke.  July 12, 2015.

I have difficulty remembering dates for anything for the most part.  However, that date just resonates with me.  I still cannot believe our lives have changed so much since July 12.

How are things different for us?  Well, for starters, Rusty has trouble getting out what he wants to say.  Most of the time, it takes him several minutes to get out what he is saying to us.  He also forgets easily what has been said to him.  I can tell him something then five minutes later he forgets what I have said.  It is quite frustrating for him and for all of us.

Secondly, it is hard to see a man who worked so hard for his family all his life just sit around and not be active.  I can remember sitting in bed some mornings as he would get ready for work and just admire the man he was.  Rusty is one of the kindest, most unselfish men I've ever known.  He always put his family first.

It is so hard when you cannot do anything about a situation.  No matter how I want to take this away from Rusty, I can't.  I can do nothing.  It makes me sad and hurt.  Some days those emotions are overwhelming.  I'll just sit and tears stream down my eyes and there is nothing I can do to stop it.  If I could move time backwards I would.  I just want one more day with the man I married.  I want one more day to hear his belly laugh.  I want one more day of hearing his crazy, goofy jokes.  There is nothing I can do.

The 12th of every month comes and goes.  One more month away from the day that changed our lives.  I always have to remember that God has a plan.  God has a plan.  GOD HAS A PLAN.  This can be so very hard to remember. No matter what, as long as you seek God's face, He can use your situation to bring glory and honor to Him.  God will get glory and honor.  I am determined not to let the enemy defeat me.

Music speaks to my soul.  There are songs that just pierce through my heart.  They are not always Christian songs.  I am going to share one here for you today.  It is by Tyrone Wells and is called "All I can do".  Please give it a listen.  I pray it speaks to your situation.

The 12th of every month will come and go.  The hands of time they will move like they will move.........

"I can't hold the hands of time
they will move like they will move but
I can hold your head in mine
give my time and give my heart
it's all that I can do"